Life Is Strange

Worst blogger ever? That'd be me. Anyways, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I feel like the past year has been one giant case of writer's block and procrastination. I've been avoiding so many things. College is such a huge concern right now, and applications are driving me insane. It's funny, I've known what I would write my Penn State application essay on since I was about eight years old. But now that the time has finally come to write it, I'm at a complete loss. How can I put into words the most indescribable emotions I've ever felt, the most wonderful feelings I've ever experienced? College is creeping closer and closer, and I have completely mixed emotions about it. Up until this year, I spent all of my time looking forward to a time when I could meet new people, live on my own, and be completely independent. But I'm just now starting to realize that it comes at a price; I can't wrap my head around just how much I'm going to miss all of my friends and being a crazy, immature teenager. Not that I can't do that at college. But it'll be... different. I'm finally starting to be spontaneous and enjoy life, and BAM, just like that it's all going to be over soon.

Life always seems to go that way. All through high school, I felt incomplete, as though something was missing. I was never really happy, always wanting more. But now, I feel like I've finally found it. Whatever that thing is that was missing, it's not anymore. Particularly in my social life. I've had a group of great friends all through high school (and I am thankful for that!) But before now, I felt as though we never did much together, never fully connected. But amidst a downpour of Nerf gun bullets at an after homecoming party with my friends, I came to a realization. I'm finally happy! I'm now the type of person that takes random trips to Tokyo Diner and Fiesta Mexico for no reason at all with an even more random group of friends. I stay after school talking with an old friend for two hours for no particular reason. I'm liberated, free, hopeful. I feel like taking risks and blurting out my feelings about everyone. I've never really cared about what people thought of me, but now it's like I've lost all regard for popularity and the opinions of others. And I've finally found someone I feel like I could be happy with... it may just be wishful thinking for now, but the fact that I could actually be interested in someone from my school, someone I already have a great friendship with? It's a whole new world for me - a fantastic world!

I'm high on life right now, and I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything.